|Brandon & Jessica|
Awakening to this heartache, Jessica Hahn’s mind drifted to the previous Christmas season. Her husband Brandon, who passed away just a few months prior, was a person who epitomized a pay-it-forward lifestyle and value system. Jessica announced in a Facebook post that she planned to do kind deeds for others throughout the month of December in honour of Brandon’s memory and admittedly, to help ease her own pain.
Within minutes of posting her status update, several supportive comments further inspired Jessica. She decided to create a Facebook page where others could also participate in and share the pleasure and joy of their own actions. Little did Jessica know how quickly the page would evolve into an inspirational beacon for many. At last count, there were over 700 individuals on board with more joining daily.
I would learn after joining the page myself that Brandon routinely found ways to help people with no expectation of anything in return. In fact, his gestures were often ones where the recipient never knew the origin. That is how he liked it. The personal fulfillment of doing or giving was payment in and of itself. Although often times Brandon’s and Jessica’s caring and sharing actions were discreet and under the radar, sometimes, one simply cannot go unnoticed due to the visibility of the actions taken. Brandon regularly cut a neighbour’s lawn because it was his personal way of relaxing. During winter-time, neighbour after neighbour could look out their window to find happy-go-lucky Brandon cleaning the snowfall from their driveways and sidewalks. Just because he could. He and Jessica also traded in two guitars towards the purchase of a new violin which was then donated to a Veteran at Parkwood Hospital in London, Ontario. Brandon had viewed an appeal on Kijiji and immediately went to work fulfilling a need. This is a smidgen of the many kind and unassuming gestures routinely undertaken.
One particularly poignant story that Jessica shared with me involved an annual rendezvous overseas. Quite impulsively, they decided to travel to Cuba in 2009 and would come to discover a world where people may not have had much yet graciously opened their hearts and homes to Jessica and Brandon during their travels. Returning again and again to Cuba, the couple would bring along and hand out little gifts; to see a young boy hold a small toy with the same incredulity someone else might feel in clutching a million dollars brought a smile to their faces.
Although Jessica has chosen to focus her attention on honouring Brandon’s memory and goodwill spirit, I asked her if this was a value they shared, and indeed it was … and continues to be! Brandon and Jessica met when she was only 14, quickly becoming friends and then life-time partners. Jessica felt that she and Brandon complimented each other in terms of their outlook on life but none-the-less respected each other’s uniqueness, which ultimately added richness to their relationship. Upon interviewing Jessica, a simple comment she made really resonated with me: “I found we were better together.” I basically interpret that to mean that two good-hearted souls coming together helps create an even larger and lasting legacy. But now, Jessica must move forward alone, or is that in fact true?
Jessica feels this event page serves many purposes, not the least of which is honouring Brandon’s memory and warm heart. This experience is also helping her move forward on her personal journey, with Brandon in her heart instead of at her side. She has noticed that many people on the site, who themselves have faced or are facing struggles, are finding peace and joy in the little things people ‘choose’ to do for one another. They share their thanks, while also finding little or larger ways to pay it forward. Jessica also reflected upon the fact that some parents are allowing their children to choose a daily ‘pay it forward’ action, thereby encouraging our youngest generations to embrace the importance of helping ... simply for the sake of helping. In seeing all this evolve within the community and beyond, Jessica has developed a camaraderie with others and feels that Brandon remains an integral part of her life. And ultimately, she feels less alone.Jessica’s Forward Momentum Wish List:
- Jessica hopes that paying it forward is embraced as a lifestyle foundation, rather than being perceived only as an isolated event.
- She also hopes that individuals recognize the incredible personal gift received simply through the gesture of giving and caring, without an expectation of receiving something in return. She reminds everyone that giving of ourselves does not deplete us; it is a simple and rewarding way to enrich our lives on a day to day basis.
- Jessica knows she cannot bring Brandon back but is determined he will never be forgotten! She wants his spirit of giving to live on in everyone.
- Jessica is looking into the establishment of a foundation to support youth who cannot afford to play sports. As an avid football player, Brandon wanted children to be able to find joy in their particular sport of choice, regardless of their parent’s financial limitations. Jessica has already been in touch with one of Brandon’s football coaches in order to brainstorm her idea further.
Facebook: 31 Days of Paying it Forward
Youtube: Brandon and the Cake Caper
Do check out my other blog topics while on here! I love writing about people and what inspires them. I also discuss various career and employee development topics, usually with a dash of humour or a grain of salt!
Catherine Stewart-Mott; Forward Momentum Services